Hard night...

Last night was a hard night with Mason. It was one in which I had to admit defeat, step back, and let Garrett step in.  Mason was soooo tired and wouldn't stop crying.  Real tears.  No matter what we did, he'd cry. It was one of those nights where we just had to put him in his crib so he could let off some steam and cry for a bit.  I'm not a fan of the cry it out method but it was literally the ONLY thing we could do. Of course, we don't just put him in there and walk away. We keep checking on him. Letting him know we are still here and making sure he's ok.  He just was so wound up and us being in there or holding him was making it worse.

But I literally have to walk away after a while and let Garrett take over in situations like thst. I can't just sit there.  Luckily, it doesn't happen often at all!!!  I had to go to a room where I couldn't hear him. He was asleep in a matter of about 15 minutes. But I was a sobbing mess because I felt like I was failing him. I couldn't comfort him. And I just lost it because, I don't know how it is for other moms, but that is the WORST feeling as a parent; not being able to comfort your child despite your best efforts to do so. I'm so thankful for my calm, rational husband.  He dealt with the situation so gracefully then checked on me as soon as Mason was asleep.

I felt so overwhelmed last night. It doesn't help being 9 freaking months pregnant but I couldn't help but get overwhelmed at the thought of those kinds of nights with Mase with the added newborn to that situation. But I suppose you just do it. I'll take one baby and Garrett will take the other.  I just wish I had the grace and composure that Garrett does in those situations.  I do ok up to a certain point. But I definitely don't retain the calmness that Garrett has.

I've been pregnant for most of Mason's life, though.  So I suppose remaining rational and calm is a bit of a task right now. Perhaps once the hormones level back out,  I will do a little better.  All I know is last night was hard. I hope Mase gets better sleep today. He only had 1 really shitty nap yesterday and by bedtime, he was exhausted!  But so worked up. Ugghhh...

And I have had hardly any sleep for the last couple months.  So there's that too...