Incompetent cervix PTSD?

I have so many conflicting and contradicting emotions.  High risk pregnancy is a whole new battle and maybe that is how I need to think of it.  Perhaps I'm trying to lump 2 entirely different battles into one, which is probably not fair to my poor emotional well-being.  

I know I've written about this before.  And maybe I'm just beating a dead horse at this point, but apparently I'm still struggling with it.

In the grand scheme of things, pregnancy is such a short time in your life.  But when you are high risk on top of the normal discomforts of pregnancy, it adds this layer of crippling fear to the mix.  It literally dictates my life.  Today, I've been having a pinching sensation that feels like it's on or around my cervix. Plus, I've been having lots of braxton hicks contractions. Yes, BH contractions are normal for this point in pregnancy, but also, silent contractions can cause me to dilate without even knowing it.  So I'm sitting here, trying not to be hyper sensitive to every. Tiny. Effing. Symptom.  But at the same time, that's how I saved Mason from being born at 26 weeks last year.  So where do I draw the line?  I already don't work. I am foregoing workouts. I'm missing one of my best friends wedding today for effs sake because I'm having braxton hicks!  It's so depressing!  

I may be especially scared because I went into preterm around this point in pregnancy last year. I'm 25 week and 5 days.  I went into labor at 26 weeks and 6 days last year.  Malcolms head is right about the perfect size to where he is putting maximum pressure on my cervix.  So even though I'm not technically on bed rest, I might as well be.  

I understand that once Malcolm is here, none of this will matter! But I still need to get through every day right now.  And I suppose that's all I CAN do! Day by day.