Dear Embryos

I've been thinking a lot about our frozen embryos.  We have 5; 3 that are frozen by themselves and 2 frozen together.  After Malcolm comes, we will begin our process of releasing them for adoption.  We are ready to move on from infertility; and from the conception stage in general.  We are ready to enjoy this next phase of our lives and reap the fruits of our labor, so to speak, and fully emerse ourselves in the raising of our boys.

I do have mixed emotions about releasing our embryos.  It is not a decision we take lightly.  Any one of those embryos could have been the one they chose to transfer on November 3Oth, 2013.  I have a deep love for them all!  And releasing them to other families is not an easy thing to do.  However, for Garrett and I, it is the right thing to do.  We know how much infertility hurts.  The thing that I am comforted by is knowing that whoever receives our embies will love them to pieces! Because you don't go through infertility/embryo adoption and not appreciate to the fullest extent the miracle that a child is.  I am confident that any of our precious embryos that successfully implant and make it into this world will be loved beyond all measure!

That being said, Garrett and I will be choosing to not have contact with them.  I don't think I could see a child that looked like me and Garrett or Mason and separate the fact that they are NOT our child.  Once we release our embies, they are no longer ours. They are another family's child to love and raise!  It would just be too hard.  If they ever sought us out later in life, I may reconsider. But seeing them as children would just be too much. So we will make our peace with the decision to release them and let them go.  I love them too much to keep them frozen forever!  But it will be with a little bit of a heavy heart that I let them go.  But I will be thankful in knowing that whatever life may come of them will be cherished!