Crib, Annual and Goals.

This is night #2 of transitioning Mason into his crib. He's slept in a rock and play up until this point. But he is trying to shoot himself pit of it now...I think mostly because he wants to sleep on his side or his tummy.  I'm not comfortable physically or mentally with the idea of cosleeping.  If its just him and I taking a nap then it's fine but our bed is not that big to accommodate all of us comfortably. Babies take up a lot of room. Perhaps down the road when I don't feel like I or G will smoosh him, he can come into bed with us. But for now, I think the best thing is his crib! 

Last night was a flop.  He slept in there for a few hours then woke up and would not settle back down. So into bed with me he went. But when G came to bed at 2am, Mason woke up and was wide awake! So him and I slept the rest of the night in the recliner.  We'll see how tonight goes. G has the baby monitor and I told him to just put M in bed with me for a while if he wakes up and doesn't settle back down. (G is a night owl, in case you haven't guessed that.  I, however, am in bed pretty early.)

Anyway, so I'm totally sobbing in bed because it's sinking in that my baby is already 6 months old!!!  And I am having separation anxiety. Lol. But don't get me wrong! I love that little man is learning stuff every day and stuff is getting so fun!!! And I have no illusions about how rocky those first few months were.  Not because of lack of sleep or anything like that. But because of the reflux. So I'm glad be are moving away from that a bit. I guess it's just the realization of just how fast time goes with a kid. People can tell you until you are blue in the face how fast it goes but it doesn't sink in until it's actually happing to you. 

But I love it.  I still love every second of being a mom. Even the tough moments.  I love my boy so much!  My heart feels like it may explode.

That being said, I'll move on. 

I had my annual today and chatted with Dr. M. about the rough timeline we have of trying to have another.  She mentioned how the next pregnancy will be as far as precautions and whatnot.  I soooo hope it's a better experience. I'm not even asking for much. Just a less tumultuous one. I don't even need to work out! If I could just walk. Or not be confined to a bed. 

If we are able to keep everything in check and stable, we are good candidates for a vbac. We could potentionally labor normally and give birth vaginally.  I hadn't really considered it but I suppose it makes sense! The reason for my cesarean last time was for my safety, not Mason's. My cervix was just too trashed, they didn't want to risk it! I'm not going to make any plans though.  I would love to deliver vaginally, but I think it's just going to a be a wait and see type of thing.  If it works that way, awesome! If not, cesarean it is. My goal is a healthy baby (and mama) so we'll just see how it plays out. I'm not going to obsess about it.  

I shouldn't even get ahead of myself.  We may not get to have another one. And if not, Mason is enough. He is my little miracle boy!!!  I would like to give him a sibling, though.  Another wait and see situation.  I still have goals to reach before I'll even consider a frozen embryo cycle.  I have at least 18 more pounds to lose.  And I want to get my strength back.  Then I'll consider it.  I start physical therapy again on Friday.  I'm a little nervous about my knee. I think everything else is a strength and/or muscle imbalance issue.  But my knee is locking up like it has shit floating around in there. I'm worried I won't be able to get my Spartan trifecta!  I guess I'll find out more on Friday.

I suppose that's it for now.  Just been being a mom, plugging away at my goals and tattooing on the weekends!  Don't have much to complain about these days.  My life is pretty effing amazing!!!!