Fit Shaming

Let me start off by saying I have been both fat and fit. (Currently, I'm in the middle of the two, having just had a baby.) But by far, I have encountered more shaming as a fit person than a fat one. And now, getting back to the "grind" it's starting back up again in ever-so-subtle comments.

So I ask this: why the eff-bomb is it OK to comment about a fit persons body, but it is considered rude and bullying the other way around?  I'm not saying it doesn't happen. It absolutely does, and fat shaming is never OK, either!  But in my own personal experience, nobody said a damn thing when I was larger.  Oh but being fit, it's totally OK to criticize.

I've been accused of being obsessed.  I've been accused of "worrying" about being fit. People diminish my dedication, implying I have it easy by saying things like "I wish I had the time that you do to work out." (I really effing hate that one.) I've heard my friends get accused of getting "too small" or "too muscular." And then, my favorite, people saying "I'd rather spend that time with my family" as an acceptable jab questioning your dedication to family.

Here's a news flash!!! Working out and eating healthy doesn't make me think I'm better than anyone! It doesn't make me a bad mom! I have to plan out and make time for it just like everyone else who chooses this lifestyle. It's important to me so I sacrifice other things in order to make time for it.  Things I put off so I can work out still need to be done.  I don't have it easy. (Nobody does, really.)  Getting in shape is anything but easy...no matter who you are or what your circumstances are!!!! Don't downplay it!

Bottom line is that being fit coincides with the lifestyle that I want!  What you choose is your business!  And I respect that!  But just so you know, the next person that decides it is OK to put me down for working out or comment on my body (because I WILL be super ripped eventually!), I get to unload a bunch of comments about your lifestyle and body!  It's the same damn thing!  

Can't we just be happy for each others successes?!  Is it so hard to accept our differences that we need to put each other down?

Surreal

I just got done singing my son to sleep.  That is surreal to me!!!! It still just blows my mind that I have a son! Sometimes, I just stare at him with amazement!  To think that he is the one we waited all that time for. My gratitude is beyond measure.  His smile is the absolute BEST part of my day.

I was reflecting on my pregnancy today a bit.  Things could have turned out so differently. While I was pregnant, I knew it would all be worth it...but some days, I felt like I was just saying f that to make myself stick to the bed rest. Now that Mr. Mason is here, there is no doubt that it was, in fact, worth it. And I'm thankful that I listened to my body when I felt like something was wrong.  It makes me sad to think so many lose their babies due to incompetent cervix. My heart goes out to them because I just can't even imagine the pain of that.  

I am also so happy that Mason is so loved by SO many.  Even people I've never even met in real life.  He is a lucky dude!!!!  

I was also thinking today that I am so proud of myself for working so hard to get in shape again.  I don't want to be the mama who gets winded just walking across the street! I was to be right there with my kiddos, playong , riding bikes, running... All that good stuff until they are top cool for their old mama bear!  And while I get incredibly frustrated while working out, I know I'm getting stronger!  I'm back to doing some toe push ups. That was a big ego buster in the beginning because I used to rock the push ups. Going back down to knee push ups was a little tough on my confidence.  But I just have to keep reminding myself of what my body just went through. I'm just excited to be tough and fit again!  Right when I get there, that will be about the time I start looking into a frozen embryo transfer! Lol

Still Sick

It's 2:30 a.m. Little man is sound asleep. I, on the other hand am WIDE awake. In fact, I just spent the last half hour cleaning the living room. Laying down is no good right now because the cold has moved into my sinuses. Although I would rather deal with that than that horrid first few days of getting sick when you are super fatigued and have a super sore throat.

Last night was tough because all 3 of us were not doing so hot. G had a REALLY bad headache. I was super stuffed up. And Mr. Mason just had a rough day all around yesterday. He was super "refluxy." Crying a good chunk of his awake time. Lots of back arching and spit up. So I took him to bed just after 9. Best decision ever. He's still sleeping!!!  So far, that's 5.5 hours straight. Of course, I can't take advantage of it because I can't breathe when I'm laying down. But that's ok. I'm just glad he's sleeping after the day he had yesterday.  Poor little turd.

He has his wellness check today at 1 so hopefully we can figure something out for him.  I probably won't go...just because I don't want to expose all those other kiddos to what I have.

I'm getting back to my workouts today?  Though I will probably take it easy.  But maybe I can "sweat it out" a little bit. We have an all enclosed steam shower thst I never really use or appreciate until I get sick. I will most likely take another steam shower today.

The last few days makes me wish my parents lived in town. It would have been so nice to have my mom over last night to help. I hope my brother appreciates having them so close!

On another note, Mason is getting all formula now. I'm completely done pumping. It was just too much effort for such little results.  Go ahead and judge.  Lol.  Not really. I doubt anyone who reads my blog will judge. Whenever people ask me if he's formula or breastfed, I instantly get defensive.  I won't go into it all over again. You all know my feelings on that.  If people want to feel superior because they breastfeed, they can have it. Mason is no less loved. I don't feel like I'm missing out on a bonding experience.  And, probably the most ridiculous thing I've heard to date,  Mason's face is not "less attractive" because he bottle feeds.  Ugh. Ok. I wasn't going into it...lol. so I better stop before I get all worked up again. Haha!

Sick.

Being sick when a little minion is depending on you is a whole different ballgame.  I spent half of the day in tears.  There is no time to be sick. And I don't want to get little man sick. But I suppose he's already been exposed.  I'm still taking major precautions anyway.

I'm also super bummed that I'll be taking the next few days off from working out.  I know it probably seems like a ridiculous thing to be upset about but, dudes, I just spent a LOT of time sitting around on my ass.  That's the last thing I want to do.

So now, I'm pushing some serious fluids, and trying to rest as much as possible so I get better quickly.  I went over a year without getting sick so I suppose it's my turn. The lack of sleep probably knocked my immune system down a notch.  This is the ONLY way you'll get me to slow down.   Well, this and preterm labor. So I must need rest.

We have an enclosed steam shower so I'm thinking I may go use it...even though it makes me feel claustrophobic. But if it helps, I'm all about it. I'm still in the early sore throat phase of being sick. Not looking forward to the impending congestion that is inevitably coming.

Sigggghhhh....

Ah well. It's not like I'm the first mom ever to be sick. Lol. It just sucks that it's happening when little man is still having reflux issues. I just want to hold him, give him kisses and snuggle with him when he's crying. But I'm trying to keep my distance when I can to limit his exposure.

Mason's Workout

Mason getting his sweat on!!! I'm so proud!

"Everything happens for a reason. "

Why is it that people think they need to bust out the "everything happens for a reason" saying when you're going through a shit storm in your life? I LOATHE that saying now.   That could quite possibly be attributed to infertility and hearing it over and over again during a time when all I really wanted to hear was "yeah...this shit sucks." When someone is going through a divorce, cancer, the death of a family member, they don't want to hear about the reasons that this awful thing is happening. At least I didn't.  Maybe I'm in the minority here. I don't know. But to me, regardless if there was a reason or not, telling someone this during a horrid time in their life is kind of rude. Unless you can tell me the exact reason it's happening, then shut your pie hole!  I believe sometimes we are dealt a hand in life that is just shitty. Period. And we handle them the best we can and try to look at the bright side.  If you believe everything happens for a reason,  that's fabulous. Good for you! Maybe wait until people who are dealing with heavy stuff have had time to at least process their situation enough to think of what those reasons may be.

Ok. End Rant.