Little Man is 2 Months!!!!

Mason is officially 2 months today! I can hardly believe it!  It's still hard to believe that he is real sometimes. I wonder if that feeling ever wears off...?  I took him for a walk today with a friend in the rain.  He slept through the whole thing.  But I took him in his front carrier,  which he seems to love.  Most likely because he is upright and I'm sure it chills out his reflux a bit.

Speaking of his reflux, he seems to be doing a bit better. Not AS much crying fits, though still more than I would like.  Still arching his back every so often as well.  Only 1 spit up since yesterday.  The pediatrician warned us of silent reflux so we are watching out for that.  He has his wellness check as well as his first immunizations next week so we can touch base with his doc then and see if we need to switch up meds.  But at least for now, he's a bit happier! It's a start!

My dad is coming over tomorrow and I'm going to try tattooing on him. I'm not sure how it will go as I still have some residual carpal tunnel symptoms... but hopefully it goes ok. I can't believe how horrible carpal tunnel is.  As someone who works with me hands as part of my job, it's kinda scary when your fingers are all numb! I really had to prove how much I wanted a child lol.

Today was day 3 of insanity.  Got my ass thoroughly handed to me with those damn tuck jumps! And hit the floors.  BUT I will say that I did toe Pushups today on the moving Pushups.  I used to kick so much ass on Pushups so I'm working hard to get back there. Doing knee Pushups kind of hurts my feelings/ego so to be able to do some on my toes again was pretty fabulous!

After we finish insanity, we plan on doing Asylum.  So our workouts are mapped out through December!  That is a nice jump start backed into everything! Then it will be time to kick it up a notch and start training hard for all the events I want to participate in next year!

For the record, I can't wait to fit into my old jeans.  I'm soooo sick if wearing my maternity shit. Uggghhh.  I feel like burning Ll these clothes when I'm done with them cuz I'm so sick of looking at them. Lol

Insanity

I've been meaning to update for a while now but keep getting busy! The fitness thing has been very touch and go. While I've been super consistent, some days, my mental state isn't that great. But honestly, sometimes, I think you just have to let yourself be mad and say stupid shit you know isn't true just to get it out.  The frustration with starting over is very real...and I'd be lying if I said I was doing just peachy over here all the time.

As I've said before, I know it isn't going to happen overnight! It took a long time to get there before and I just spent a good chunk of my pregnancy on the couch.  So yes, it will take some time but it's still frustrating to find myself back at a place I'd never hoped to be again...pregnancy or no.  I'll get there, though...because that's just what I do!!!

So with that being said, this week, Aprill and I started the Insanity program again.  It feels so good to get my ass kicked so hard!  Inanity gave me such a good jump start the first time I did it so hopefully it will again. Today was day 2. I need to take some "before" pics before I get too far into it.  I'm thinking with Insanity 6 days a week, plus lifting at LEAST 3 days, and of course PiYo on Wednesdays and Saturdays, hopefully I'll start getting stronger.

I've been considering getting my Spartan trifecta next year. For those that don't know, that is the Spartan obstacle races that include their Sprint, which is 3-5 miles, their Super, which is 8 miles and their breast, which is 12-13 miles. All three races just have to be done in the same calendar year!  Montana will have the Sprint and the Beast back to back next year in May so I'd like to be ready by then!  And then travel to Seattle for the Super!

In other news, Mason is now 11.6 lbs and rolling over from belly to back like a champ just under 2 months!  That kid is such a beast!!!!  No wonder he tried to come out early!!!

We took him to the pediatrician today due to his reflux.  We are trying him on the rice formula as well as zantac in hopes that he isn't quite so sad all the time! Poor kid...

That's about all I got for now!!!  Maybe I'll post my "before" pics this week if I'm feeling btrave enough!!!

Happy Baby

More smiles from this handsome man!

Doing Better!

Doing so much better this week! Started with bi's and tri's yesterday. I didn't have time for cardio but that's OK. Today was super fun!!! We did a tabata workout and I sweat buckets!  I didn't have to modify AS much today. That felt fabulous!

It's starting to feel like I'm getting back into the swing of things.  I have a long ways to go, yes. But my drive is there and I am feeling more and more like my old self every day.  Only now when I get done working out, I get to come inside and kiss that baby, who is the whole reason why I began working out 5 years ago. It is so amazing what has happened since then!

Mason was in such a good mood this morning!  I got so many smiles!  Love that boy so much!

Discouraging Week.

This week has been hard...mentally.  Probably because I've been doing "real" workouts and it has become so very apparent how far back I slid.  I wanted SO BAD to be a bad ass pregnant chick who lifted and worked out through my whole pregnancy! I had the motivation and dedication.  But my body, once again, let me down.  Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't change it. Mason is the most amazing thing that's ever happened. And honestly, I will have an even greater appreciation for my body when it's on top shape.

I want to get even more in shape and ripped than I was before.  I'll probably chill a little on the cardio and focus a little more on lifting.  I love cardio but I want the strength and muscle definition!  Plus, I want to work on the heavy bag and speed bag stuff!  I finally put together the stand that mom got me! She's getting us the heavy bag tomorrow! So happy to be back working out in the garage!

So yeah, this week has been filled with a lot of discouragement. Even a few tears at the realization of how out of shape I am. But I'm trying to change my thought process. Instead of comparing myself to where I was last year, I need to compare myself to where I was last week.  Or 2 weeks ago. Or when i started working out again.  2 weeks ago, I was doing pelvic tilts on the floor and having a hard time getting up off the floor.  Now, I'm running, lifting and doing full workouts, such as piyo.  Hopefully in a few weeks, I can cut back on a few of the modifications in piyo.

I'm thinking that in order to keep myself mentally on track I will get a little whiteboard for the garage and write down my big accomplishments for the week!  It will hopefully be a reminder of my progress!

As far as Mason news, it's kind of a big one. I already posted the smiling video.  So that was super duper exciting. He also had a date with Mallory yesterday! She was born on Tuesday and she's amazingly adorable! It's going to be so amazing to watch them grow up together! I'm excited for all the play dates in their future!  And today, Mason was discovering his tongue. At least, that's what I think he was doing! He kept sticking out his tongue. So cute!!!!  He's been sooo alert! Following objects with his whole head...not just his eyes! Been doing more eye contact as well.  I love watching him grow!

Smiles!!!!

Finally got some smiles on camera!!!!

Tour de Cure 2014!

Yesterday was the Tour de Cure!  This is the 5th year I've done it!!! I had signed up for the 5k while I was still preggers, and even before I went into preterm labor!  I had really hoped to take Mason but I just couldn't justify it since he had a little stuffy nose.  But that's OK. He got to have a day bonding with dad and I got to go hang out with my mom!  So here's a little pic from my first event post baby!!!!!  Woot Woot!!!

That being said, I missed the shit out of my boy!!!!!  It's tough being away for that long. I assume it gets better and easier...but it's still pretty early for me.  I want to get back to painting and tattooing but I can't even fathom being away so much!  When I got home, I stole Mason for the the rest of the night and snuggled the little man!!!

Mason is starting to be more expressive now!  It's fun to watch him when he gets like this.  He's also slowly starting to make a few other sounds here and there that aren't cries or sounds of distress. I love it so much!  And he's getting so big!!! I can't wait to see how much he's grown at his next appointment.  Although, I think he starts some of his vaccinations next time.  I heard those appointments can be hard for everyone involved.  (P.s. please, no vaccination arguments or debates! You don't have to agree with our decision to vaccinate, just as I don't have to agree with yours not to. But please be respectful in keeping the negative comments to yourself!) That being said, here is little man just chillin'!  

Today, I ran 2 miles.  I started by trying to do a modified version of the 15 5's. That's when you do 15 pushups, 15 tuck ins, 15 dips, 15 floor kicks, and 15 pull ups.  Then your start over with 14, then 13...all the way down to 1. (If any of you try this workout, let me know!!!) I started doing a modified version of it, but my hands!!!!! I thought hard about how this carpal tunnel would affect work but I never considered how it would affect my workouts!  Eeesh!  So I didn't make it very far on that workout.  So I cried tears of massive frustration, then changed into my running stuff and went for a run!

I was super proud to have made it 2 miles but, damn! It hurts !y ego a little bit to be this out of shape!  Yes, I know I just had a baby and it's pretty good considering I'm just shy of 7 weeks out of a cesarean... But I'm still allowed to be frustrated.  Its not going to make me quit or anything.  It still just sucks. I'll get my strength back eventually.

Speaking of strength, this week, I'm reintroducing lifting.  I just did bi's and tri's!  Tomorrow, I'm taking a rest day.  Gotta remember those rest days!!!!  Had another comment from someone telling me to "ease back into it." I know already!  CRIPES!!!! I thought I would share my accomplishment of running 2 miles but apparently, I'm rushing into it.  FFS, unless you are my doctor or Aprill (who also happens to be a personal trainer and educated in these sorts of things), shut your pie hole.  If you have something positive and/or encouraging to say, then yes, let me have it.  I need that right now!

Phew!  That sure pisses me off!! Lol!  Perhaps I just need to keep my workout stuff here and off FB.  Not very many people follow my blog anymore so there's less of a chance of the annoying comments!

Well, that's all I got for now!  I'm gonna go snuggle my boy for a while!  Tomorrow is a chill day. Perhaps some vid games and some hangouts with my boys!!!!  Peace!!!!

Starting Over

Have I mentioned lately how much I adore being a mom.  I was born for this!!!!

In other news....

I went on another run today.  I ran 1.25 miles today! I also went to Zumba.  Tomorrow, I will focus more on resistance stuff.  Next week, I'm busting out the weights, though!  I miss lifting!!!  My checkup is tomorrow!!!  But at this point, it seems almost a formality!  I feel so good. I'm making sure I don't so anything the injure myself by easing back into things.

As amazing as it feels to get moving again, it tough "starting over." I don't care what anyone says, it is discouraging to think about what I was doing before and what I am doing now.  It's hard to look in the mirror and not like what I see anymore.  I know I will again someday and it won't discourage me from pushing forward...but I'd be lying if I said it isn't tough to be at place I'd hoped I wouldn't be again.

I still feel a little bitter about the rocky pregnancy but it's no use dwelling on it! I have a perfectly healthy boy.  I gladly sacrificed my body and health so I could bring Mason into the world safely.  But now it's time to repair the damage.

Thank you to those who have given me encouragement!!!!  It's nice to know I have that support.  Also, thanks to those who are trying to hinder my progress.  I just use it as fuel!  Haha!

Also....I love being a mom!  Just in case I haven't said that in a while...

First Run/Walk

I think today is the day I try a little running. I'm thinking a run/walk at the park. I'll probably go later tonight.  Right now, I have a sleepy boy taking a nap on me. We can't rush through snuggle time. =)

We got one of out pics from his photo shoot.  I don't even care that he's so cranky.  He is just so precious! James did such a fabulous job working with such a crabby baby. I can't wait to see the rest!!!

I have my 6 week appointment on Thursday.  So even though I've already started working out,  it will be nice to get the "official" go-ahead from the doc!  After my appointment, G and I are going to go on our anniversary date finally.  We are only a couple weeks late. It's gonna be hard leaving little man...even just for a few hours. 

Yesterday during my workout,  I was thinking about how hard everything was...but it was just as hard as my workouts were when I was more fit.  I'm just at a different level!  I think it's important to remember that.  My workout us just as hard as, say, Aprill's.  It used to be a huge pet peeve of mine when I was at the top of my fitness level to have others assume my workouts were now easy.  But the truth is, no matter what level you are at, your workout should busy your balls. We are a ll at different levels with different goals in mind.

Anyway. Wish me luck on my run/walk!  I got new running shoes for the occasion,  even!  Yay!

Mason's First Road Trip

Mason went on his first road trip yesterday. It was just a little day trip to Helena to get pictures taken but it was a nice first road trip! We also visited my family while we were there!  It was a fabulous little trip.

Mason is just like his daddy! He was cranky almost the whole time. Most of his pictures were mad ones but he got a few where he wasn't mad.  Honestly, though, I don't even care if he is mad in his pics.  He is super cute anyway.

Today, we went on our first walk.  It was a little one but a good learning experience!  We went to the farmers market then to visit grandma Kandy at her shop.  Mason is pretty good...granted, lloyal held him a good chunk of the time and Aprill help him another chunk but it was nice to get out.

After I got home today, I ate, pumped then I conked out for a few hours!  I had missed my afternoon nap the last 2 days so it was catching up to me.  I am considering a shower as well but I need to go work out first.  My muscle soreness has finally chilled a bit.  I can't imagine how it's going to be when I do my first real workout! Lol!

I also want everyone to know that I picked up a folded jogging stroller right up over my head and into the back of Garrett's truck with n problems.  So all you people thinking I am doing too much or keep telling me not to overdo it can suck a big one!  Like the said before, I am pretty in tune with my body. I know what a good pain is and a bad one.

My 6 week appointment is this next week on Thursday.  I'm curious about what happens when I get pregs again.  I may ask her about it...NOT that I'm even remotely ready for the next one.  Even the thought...ughhhh!!!!  But I am just wondering how the damage to my cervix will affect any future pregnancies.

 The Tour de Cure is a week from today!!!  I made my goal.  But truthfully, it may be the last year.  Well, I will probably do it one more year so that I can do it again with Aprill. We need to do our events. We'll need to do that one, the dirty dash, the Spartan, the Montana Mucker, Color Run, maybe a zombie run, I'd like to do a half just for shits and giggles...and who knows what else. That is one reason I can't get pregs right away again.  I need to get myself back in shape.  And I missed out on all those events this year (for a good reason, but still!).

Welp!  I better go get my workout on before I talk myself out of it!

5 Weeks Post Partum

Real quick, just wanted to say I have 1 week until I hit my 6 weeks!  I'm super excited to get to work out with my bestie again. I know I we won't get to work out together as before she's going to school and I am a new mom! But still, we get to work out!  I took a break today because I'm sore!!! But it will be back to my mini workouts tomorrow!

Mason is 5 weeks today.  He's starting to outgrow his onesies and grow into new ones!  Mostly length-wise. He's still filling out but he's definitely getting chunkier!  Have I mentioned how much I adore this little boy!!!!!!  Because I really do!  

1st Sweat Post Partum

I have been working on my core little by little.  Yesterday was the first time I did any sort of "workout" where I actually sweat. I'm still not pushing it super hard because I haven't had my 6 week checkup yet..though it is coming up.

One thing I'm getting sick of is people telling me that it won't happen overnight. Or to just let my body heal first.  Or to just enjoy that baby before worrying about working out.

First of all...I know it is going to take a while to get back to where I was? Dude! I know.  This isn't my first rodeo. I've done this before and it took a few years to get to where I was.  Second, I know my body better than anyone else. I already know it's still healing.  I already know I have a long ways to go. I don't need reminders all the damn time.

I know people mean well, but at least put a positive spin on it.  Like those saying "I don't think it will take as long as you think..." That is uplifting.

Anyway...enough of the vent.  I just had to get that off my chest because it was starting to feel like people WANT to hold me back.
It feels good to move my body again...even just a little bit. Here is what I did yesterday.  I even had to work my way up to this...and it was tough for me.

And here are some of my starting point pics.  They aren't terrible, but they aren't exactly pretty either.  But they are part of my journey back to being strong so here they are!