Tired and Weak

I started Turbofire on Monday. Oh boy...

Did I mention today is only Wednesday?

Anyway. So I started Turbofire and it's super fun. However, I'm so very weak. I used to have so much power behind my punches and kicks.  Now I'm struggling to even get the full range of motion, nevermind power.

But alas, the only way to get better is to just do it.  I've started drinking a protein shake in hopes that it will help a bit with energy. I'm so tired. Every day. I hate feeling this damn weak!!! Which is why I am making myself work out. And drink water. And protein shakes.

Today is day 3.  Only 87 more days of this full program. Though, I may restart it once I've got the moves down a little better. I hate to admit, I have a really hard time keeping up at this stage.  I'm hoping to come back and reread this in 90 days and be able to remember where I started with all this. I feel so tired and sluggish. I hate it...

June

I ordered Turbofire.  Shits getting real in June. Im eating healthier and starting Turbofire. I just need the structure and schedule right now in my life...where there is no structure. Lol.

I've partially hesitated trying to cut things in my diet because I've been trying to avoid a milk supply drop. But I have blown passed my initial goals with the breastmilk. Never thought I'd make it long enough to give Malcolm fresh breastmilk for his recovery from cleft repair. So whatever happens to my supply after June happens. And we'll roll with it.

I think I was sent a little reminder of how far I've come...even where I'm at now. I found this picture while cleaning. I didn't think there were any pics of me from this time. This was my heaviest. This was when I realized how unhealthy I was. Even where I'm at now is so much better than where I was. I'm still hovering around 175. In that picture, I was closer to 220ish.

I'm looking forward to feeling strong again!! 

First, we need to get through this surgery!

Operation: Hot Mother

That's an Arrested Development reference, for those that don't know.

But still, it is relevant to what's about to go down.

I'll be honest. I'm having a hard time finding my passion for working out again. My body is slow and sluggish. My shape has changed. My boobs always flopping every which way since I'm still pumping.  My cardio is seriously lacking. I'm tired and I can fill every second I'm awake with things I "need" to do. My motivation is sooo gone. And it's not going to come back on its own.

Today I decided to get the garage back in working order. It's still a giant mess out there but my workout area is clear. And that's all I need. I was going to do insanity, but I think I need to wait until after Malcolms surgery. I feel like that week, I won't be doing much of anything.

Anyway. I've got 20lbs lingering from pregnancy. Not too shabby considering I had two back to back, rough pregnancies.  But I need to get my strength back. It's hard having an aching back all the time. It's hard to feel my entire body jarring when I'm running after my toddler. It needs to change. I don't need to be ripped. But I do want to be strong enough and quick enough keep up with these little dudes.

I've been hovering around 175 for the past few months so I think I've lost everything  gonna lose just doing the bare minimum, which is lifting every now and then and running when I feel like it. Not very consistent...and consistency is key. 

Sooooo...Operation: Hot Mother, it is!!!