Balance

I've spent this week sick with mastitis, thrush, a tummy bug and just plain exhaustion. My milk supply has taken a,pretty big hit as a result. I'm struggling with that fact more than I thought I would. I went from a definite 60 ounces a day to barely 50. Yes. I know that's still an oversupply. But even though I'm straggling awith the loss, I'm not sure I want to try to get it back. I'm so tired. I've pumped longer than I thought I would be able to. And I have ato least 3 months of frozen milk in my stash. That's way more than I thought I could save up.

Bottom line is I'm so damn tired. This week has been a huge eye opener for me.  My body basically told me I need to do something different because what I'm doing isn't working. A lot of times, I end my day with trying to squeeze in last minute things. I always feel like I could have done more. But I need to remind myself that I've done enough. At the end of the day, my kids are fed and happy.

Of course that's easier said than done but we've already made a few changes. I've dropped the middle of the night pump. We've just been bringing Malc I told bed with us and we're transitioning him into the cosleeper. It's helping a bit.

I'm just so tired. My body is tired. My husband is tired. This is a rough time right now. It'll get better. But damn, it's hard to find a little balance right now.

Fit Nessa Update

OK so a little fitness update!  I've been at the gym working out since a little before Christmas. It's been hard to realize how far I've slipped but so amazing to feel my strength and endurance slowly returning. I still thoroughly hate running but that's why I think it makes a great goal to do a half marathon.  I'll push through and maybe I'll end up liking it. Who knows?

I've missed weight training so much! I don't miss the a-holes that thunk they own the weight room. Look. I know I'm smooshy and lifting little piddly weights but I just had two babies cut out of my guts back to back. And that's not even taking into account the pregnancies and how fun those were. So cool your biscuits and have a little etiquette in the weight room. Ugh.

Anyway!! I've had a few non scale victories since starting back up. When I first hopped on the treadmill, I struggled to run 8 minutes consecutively at a slow pace. I've worked up to 25 minutes straight at 5mph. That's still kind of a slow mile but it's getting better!  I was around a 10-11 minute mile prior to pregnancy so I'd like to work my way back to that.

As far as weight lifting goes, my weights are steadily increasing.  That initial soreness has faded. I still get sore obviously but there's something about that first lift back that tears you up. Lol!

And as far as the scale goes, I'm hovering between 178-180. It's slowed down for now but I'm happy with my progress since having Malcolm. I've dropped about 45 lbs since having him.  I know a lot of that was water and baby, but I didn't drop that fast with Mase and I'm even lower than I was when I got pregs with Malc.

But honestly, while it's nice to see that number go down a bit, it's not really what's the most important. It's the non scale victories I care about right now. My weight will do what it's gonna do.

The eating part has been a little more difficult to juggle since I'm pumping 60 oz of milk a day. I tried eating healthier but had a hard time getting my calories in for the day and saw a drop in my supply. I'm going to try to add two protein shakes a day in with banana and blueberry yogurt and almond milk in hopes that I can eliminate the extra crap I'm eating to get those extra calories. We'll see how it goes.

That's all I got for now!