Broken Record

I feel like I should update this thing but I'm just not sure what to say anymore without just repeating myself.  I am 37 weeks and 3 days today, which is where I was when I had Mase.  So after 11:45 pm, this will officially be the longest I've been pregnant

I'm just doing the waiting game now.  I'm achy.  My back is killing me. I'm exhausted.  My crotch is sore and don't even get me started on the pressure in my pelvic region! I'm dealing with constipation.  And still with the horrid heartburn.  I must have had 40 bottles of tums during this pregnancy.  My face is swollen along with my legs and...well, everything else.  And in the last few days, I've really noticed the carpal tunnel flaring up. Yay.  And I feel like I spend all day trying not to fall asleep while I spend all night TRYING to fall asleep.

But...

I've been reflecting, especially since last week.  I installed Malcolm's carseat and for whatever reason, that's what made it real for me.  I mean, really real.  Like this is happening in less than two weeks!  I sat there looking at both carseats in our truck and was hit with this wave of absolute and utter gratitude.  2 years ago, I had almost no hope left of having even 1 child.  And here I am only 2 years later, about ready to bring home baby boy #2!  It's incredible.  We are days away from being done building our family!  While it is bittersweet, I am so ready to just embrace the next phase.

The last 2 years have been tough.  I feel like Masons pregnancy was mentally challenging and Malcolm's was more physically challenging.  But even with all the hiccups, scares and challenges of pregnancy, I am still thankful for the experience as I am fully aware, that many are painfully denied this experience.  But I can also now appreciate that pregnancy is damn hard! And stressful.  And just because you are not a fan of pregnancy, that does not mean you can't appreciate the experience and be absolutely thankful for the end result!  If I ever said anything during infertility to invalidate a pregnant woman's feelings, I sincerely apologize.  I can admit when I am wrong...and I feel i may have been wrong in certain cases.  Was it hard to hear someone complain about something I would do anything for? Absolutely.  But that doesn't mean they aren't allowed to have a hard time too. Pregnancy is hard.  I think the key is to just know who you are complaining to.  Talk to someone who can relate.

Anyway.  See. I'm repeating myself!  I know I've talked about a lot of this stuff already.  I just feel like I might not be writing in here too much more until after Malcolm and wanted to have at least one more entry!  However, now, it's sleepy time...hopefully!!!!