So I have made the decision to go back to gluten free and minimal dairy/minimal processed foods like I was doing before. I follow the PCOS diva and respect a lot of what she has to say and there is a reason she does gluten free /dairy free year round. She has spent much of her life dedicated to researching PCOS and helping others with it. Plus, it's what worked for me the first time...and as much as I don't want to think about getting pregnant again right now, I have to because I am still an infertile. Having a baby does not cure it. And I would very much like a brother or sister for Mason down the road.
Like I said, I have to think about and plan ahead when it comes to this whole getting pregnant again thing. And that kind of sucks.
I have to think about it physically. I have to work really hard to get my body in shape again because not only does that help me get pregnant, but it helps me during pregnancy. It helps me be in better touch with my body, which is why I am pretty sure I knew something wasn't roight , even though I didn't feel that bad. Then once I was on bed rest, it kept me from sliding quite so far down, physically. I was still so incredibly weak (still am, honestly) from the bed rest plus all that strain on my body from the pregnancy, that I can't even imagine where I would be of I had started that pregnancy out of shape to begin with.
I have to think about it financially. G and I have a plan to ditch birth control methods when we are getting closer to being ready to try again...but as I said, having a baby does not cure infertility. I know in some cases, you have a window after having a baby where you are more fertile (although this is not always the case, just to clarify), we can't bank on that. And besides, I'm not ready to go through that again!!! So, we have to start planning for a frozen embryo transfer by saving our pennies. It's hard to pull $4500 out of your ass at the last minute, so we need to start tucking money away now!
And last, and probably most importantly, I have to start thinking about it emotionally. I was not prepared for such a tough pregnancy. And chances are, my next pregnancy will also be tough because incompetent cervix does not go away, either. Yes, I will get a preventative cerclage next time at around 10-12 weeks, but that only keeps my cervix closed. It doesn't help me maintain my cervical length. And it doesn't keep baby from tearing your cervix. As you may recall, that was the reason for my cesarean. It wasn't for baby's safety. It was for mine. My cervix was shredded...and that was even with bed rest. But anyway, I will most likely have some sort of bed rest next time, too, and bed rest is tough on a person. Im hoping it wont be AS strict as last time. If we can keep it in check, we will be much better off. So I need to prepare myself for that. Because it's definitely worth it in the end...but that doesn't make it easier.
So there you have it. Forced to think about the whole baby thing again already. But that's OK. I know things can go much different next time and hopefully for the better.
G and I thought briefly about just not using any birth control methods but decided that on the off chance I do get preggo right away, it would potentially be a disaster because my body needs to heal. I don't just need to get back in shape but I need to heal! My back is trashed. I'm still dealing with residual carpal tunnel. My knee locks up. And my hip hurts all the time. So I need some physical therapy. I need to build up my strength again. And I need to shed this extra fat I gained. Then we'll see what happens.
For now, as I try to prepare myself for the next time, I will enjoy my crazy little man!!! Revel in all these milestones he's hitting!!! And just be thankful for him because there is no guarantee that we will get to add to our family. So while I do need to plan and prepare, I also will not be so focused on it that I miss out on this amazing time with M.
No comments:
Post a Comment