A year ago today I found out I was pregnant. I had no idea that my new journey would be almost as difficult as the one trying to get pregnant in the first place. The only reason I put it so close to the struggle of infertility is because of the fear of losing my baby during our preterm labor scares!
It was a long hard road all around to get here but look at that face. Like seriously! Look at it. I, like every other mother thinks my child is the cutest little nugget in the entire world!!! And when he smiles or giggles... Its just too much for one smitten momma to bear!
So as I lay here, 30 pounds heavier than this time last year, half the strength than I used to have, my back trashed, and more chins than I care to think about, I listen to my baby sleeping, little baby snores and all, and I know it has been all worth it.
I've been awfully discouraged in the whole getting back in shape thing so it's good for me to remember WHY my body looks the way it looks right now. I fought hard and sacrificed my body to keep my little man safe! And I wouldn't change it for the world!
I still love my stretch marks. And my cesarean scar. I feel very much like they are my battle wounds and proof that I would do anything for my baby. And when it comes time to do it again, I will. Gladly. The c-section really was nothing in the grand scheme of things! It is a major surgery, but it you are smart about it, it doesn't have to hold you back. I've had no Ill side effects from it. Yeah, it can be a little tender from time to time. And my muscles are pretty dang weak. But it hasn't kept me from doing any of the things I did prior to Mason. So I'm totally OK with having another csection down the road!!! It will be safer for me and for baby...if we are luxcky enough to conceive again. I'm not cured of infertility and I am not willing to put in the same effort I did before.. At least not at this juncture.
But there's plenty of time to think about that later. For now, I'm gonna enjoy my little man I worked so hard for. Get my body back to peak condition. And just bask in this whole motherhood thing. Because it is everything I dreamed of and more. Even the times when mason just cries nonstop for hours. Its still so much better than the big, silent, empty house I had before!
