I still have a long ways to go but I'm so proud of this saggy, stretched out body. So I will embrace it at every stage while I am working on regaining my strength!
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Pre Pregnancy Weight
I still have a long ways to go but I'm so proud of this saggy, stretched out body. So I will embrace it at every stage while I am working on regaining my strength!
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Overwhelmed!!!!!!
I'm still adjusting to this crazy life of having my 2 amazing boys! I won't lie, it tough some days. But I so love being a mom! I'm just struggling a bit on finding a little "me time" during my day. Just an hour or so where someone doesn't need something from me. I think I will be a better mom if I get that time in there!
I've officially hit my 6 week mark, however, my OB is right in the middle of moving practices. So I have to wait a bit for my follow up. I cannot wait to start working out again, especially knowing I am done having kids. My body is my own again!!! Well, aside from pumping milk for Mr. Malcolm. And, ooohh myyy Godddd, will I be happy when I can quit that!!! I'm pumping every 2-3 hours, or at least that's what I shoot for, and I am producing a shit ton of milk. Don't get me wrong. I am beyond thankful for that because with Mason, I struggled to pump even an ounce by about 2 months. And as of right now, I'm pumping about 50-60 oz a day.
But...
I HATE PUMPING! My boobs are trashed. They are sore and my nips hurt. Having your boobs sucked halfway down a funnel a million times a day is not a good time. Plus, it's insanely inconvenient when caring for 2 boys. But, it's all for my little man. I feel a bit more pressure to make it work this time than I did with Mason because keeping Malcolm healthy is vital. It could affect his surgery date if he isn't healthy enough or at a goods weight! So while it won't be the worst thing in the world of my supply runs out (Mase was a formula baby and did just fine), I just would like Malcolm to have the benefits of breast milk at least until his surgery in May. But the though of pumping until then makes my boobs want to shrivel up and fall off.
In other news, I had sort of a meltdown this morning. I got super overwhelmed. I felt like I was only doing a mediocre job at everything; being a mom, wife, cleaning, making sure kids have clean clothes... G does his fair share too, but he works so I tend to do most of the housework. It just works out well that way for us. But today, G asked me to get WHOLE wheat bread instead of just "wheat" bread and I broke down. I took it as me not being good enough. I was already feeling overwhelmed. Malcolm does not like to be set down...at all. So when I set him down, he cries and I feel like a shitty mom. But when I'm holding him nonstop, I feel like I can't play with Mason or address his needs fully and that makes me feel like a shitty mom. It doesn't always feel this way but some days are just harder than others. I know it will get easier as Malcolm gets a little older and even a little more independent. But right now, some days are just freaking hard.
And then I haven't slept in the same bed as G for about a month because one or the other of us is on Malcolm duty at night! And since he's at a stage where he just cries nonstop if you set him down, whoever is on Malcolm duty stays in the living room on the couch with him. I don't feel comfortable having him sleep in our bed with us because G is a HEAVY sleeper. So until Malcolm gets to the point where he will sleep in the co sleeper or rock and play, this is how we all get the most sleep...which still isn't very much, honestly. So I feel like I'm neglecting my hubs on top of being a bad mom. Me and G still need time to be a couple and not just mom and dad. I think that is important for our relationship too.
Like I said, I don't feel like this every day and I do know I'll find my groove but it's all still so new and I feel overwhelmed a lot right now! I think that's why taking an hour a day and working out or going to the gym will really help. I'll have that time to just focus on myself and to remind myself that while being a mom is by far, my favorite part of me, it's not the ONLY part and I deserve a little time to myself once in a while. And then I can get back to the craziness of my family with hopefully a refreshed state of mind.
Anyway, I should be using this time to sleep so I'm gonna go do that.
But...
I HATE PUMPING! My boobs are trashed. They are sore and my nips hurt. Having your boobs sucked halfway down a funnel a million times a day is not a good time. Plus, it's insanely inconvenient when caring for 2 boys. But, it's all for my little man. I feel a bit more pressure to make it work this time than I did with Mason because keeping Malcolm healthy is vital. It could affect his surgery date if he isn't healthy enough or at a goods weight! So while it won't be the worst thing in the world of my supply runs out (Mase was a formula baby and did just fine), I just would like Malcolm to have the benefits of breast milk at least until his surgery in May. But the though of pumping until then makes my boobs want to shrivel up and fall off.
In other news, I had sort of a meltdown this morning. I got super overwhelmed. I felt like I was only doing a mediocre job at everything; being a mom, wife, cleaning, making sure kids have clean clothes... G does his fair share too, but he works so I tend to do most of the housework. It just works out well that way for us. But today, G asked me to get WHOLE wheat bread instead of just "wheat" bread and I broke down. I took it as me not being good enough. I was already feeling overwhelmed. Malcolm does not like to be set down...at all. So when I set him down, he cries and I feel like a shitty mom. But when I'm holding him nonstop, I feel like I can't play with Mason or address his needs fully and that makes me feel like a shitty mom. It doesn't always feel this way but some days are just harder than others. I know it will get easier as Malcolm gets a little older and even a little more independent. But right now, some days are just freaking hard.
And then I haven't slept in the same bed as G for about a month because one or the other of us is on Malcolm duty at night! And since he's at a stage where he just cries nonstop if you set him down, whoever is on Malcolm duty stays in the living room on the couch with him. I don't feel comfortable having him sleep in our bed with us because G is a HEAVY sleeper. So until Malcolm gets to the point where he will sleep in the co sleeper or rock and play, this is how we all get the most sleep...which still isn't very much, honestly. So I feel like I'm neglecting my hubs on top of being a bad mom. Me and G still need time to be a couple and not just mom and dad. I think that is important for our relationship too.
Like I said, I don't feel like this every day and I do know I'll find my groove but it's all still so new and I feel overwhelmed a lot right now! I think that's why taking an hour a day and working out or going to the gym will really help. I'll have that time to just focus on myself and to remind myself that while being a mom is by far, my favorite part of me, it's not the ONLY part and I deserve a little time to myself once in a while. And then I can get back to the craziness of my family with hopefully a refreshed state of mind.
Anyway, I should be using this time to sleep so I'm gonna go do that.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
Checking in!!! I'm still alive!!!
Hi! I'm still alive!!!!
As you can imagine, it's been a whirlwind since being home. At the moment, both boys are napping so I'm taking a bit of time to update.
We have struggled a lot with Malcolm's cleft palate and feeding. I knew it would be more difficult, but I guess I just didn't realize how much! Immediately when we got home, both boys got colds. For Malcolm, it was pretty scary because that cleft palate could potentially cause major issues since his sinuses are more open and obviously more susceptible to infection! Luckily, we got by with no major infections this time. But we are really hoping he stays healthy at least until his surgery. Otherwise, we may have to push it back and I'd really rather get it over with as soon as possible.
The major issue we had with him after we got home was weight gain. We left the hospital with basically no info and no one to call for support with his cleft palate! Luckily, an amazing nurse from the special needs pediatric department called us to check how we were doing! I was fighting back tears as I was talking to her on the phone because we had been so worried. Malcolm was basically peeing orange, which means dehydration and he was not getting any milk from a bottle or my boobs. The nurse had us come in immediately, even stayed late for us. She showed us how to use a special bottle that allows us to actually squeeze the milk into his mouth so he isn't relying on just his suck alone. Often with cleft palate, even with a great suck, they can't get a good seal in the back of the throat. It's been explained to me as trying to suck liquid through a straw with a hole in it. But that bottle has basically been a life saver and that nurse has kept in contact with us since then. I am so thankful for people like that that go above and beyond and truly care. Because we were feeling so lost!
She also got us all hooked up with the proper paperwork to attend the cranialfacial clinic next week at Dr. Santins practice. They will have surgeons, speech therapists, orthodontists, and all the other professionals required for cleft lip/cleft palate patients. We will mostly be talking with Dr. Santin and speech therapists since Malcolm's cleft is just in the soft palate. But I'm looking forward to getting some more information about all of this. I wish it weren't an issue at all, but since it is, the more information we have the better.
We are adjusting slowly to having 2 boys! When G goes back to work, I'm not sure how realistic it will be for me to continue pumping. It's already such a pain in the ass to stop what I'm doing every 2-3 hours and hook my boobs up to the torture device.. Oh, I mean breast pump for 20 minutes. I do have a nice supply of breast milk building up in the fridge though. I'm really trying to make it work though because for Malcolm especially, it would be beneficial for him to get some of my immunities from the breast milk until his surgery! We'll see how it goes though. Just one more thing for men to stress about, I suppose.
My eyeballs ache, I'm so tired. But I wouldn't change it for anything. I've wanted this exhausted to the bone feeling for many years and I finally have it! That's not to say it isn't really hard! I mean, I fell asleep feeding Malcolm last night! I woke up and the bottle was hanging out of the corner of his mouth. Lol. I've had nights where I've cried out of pure frustration and stress of not knowing what the hell I'm doing. I don't think I've slept longer than an hour or 2 at a time since I've been pregnant with Malcolm.
But it's all so worth it and I love my boys to pieces. When I look at Malcolm sleeping peacefully or when I hear Masons amazing belly laugh, I forget how exhausted to the bone I am because my babies are all I've ever wanted and they are finally here. And I know in the grand scheme, it's such a short time and while I can say I won't enjoyu every second of motherhood, I CAN say I will appreciate every second...the good and the not so good.
As you can imagine, it's been a whirlwind since being home. At the moment, both boys are napping so I'm taking a bit of time to update.
We have struggled a lot with Malcolm's cleft palate and feeding. I knew it would be more difficult, but I guess I just didn't realize how much! Immediately when we got home, both boys got colds. For Malcolm, it was pretty scary because that cleft palate could potentially cause major issues since his sinuses are more open and obviously more susceptible to infection! Luckily, we got by with no major infections this time. But we are really hoping he stays healthy at least until his surgery. Otherwise, we may have to push it back and I'd really rather get it over with as soon as possible.
The major issue we had with him after we got home was weight gain. We left the hospital with basically no info and no one to call for support with his cleft palate! Luckily, an amazing nurse from the special needs pediatric department called us to check how we were doing! I was fighting back tears as I was talking to her on the phone because we had been so worried. Malcolm was basically peeing orange, which means dehydration and he was not getting any milk from a bottle or my boobs. The nurse had us come in immediately, even stayed late for us. She showed us how to use a special bottle that allows us to actually squeeze the milk into his mouth so he isn't relying on just his suck alone. Often with cleft palate, even with a great suck, they can't get a good seal in the back of the throat. It's been explained to me as trying to suck liquid through a straw with a hole in it. But that bottle has basically been a life saver and that nurse has kept in contact with us since then. I am so thankful for people like that that go above and beyond and truly care. Because we were feeling so lost!
She also got us all hooked up with the proper paperwork to attend the cranialfacial clinic next week at Dr. Santins practice. They will have surgeons, speech therapists, orthodontists, and all the other professionals required for cleft lip/cleft palate patients. We will mostly be talking with Dr. Santin and speech therapists since Malcolm's cleft is just in the soft palate. But I'm looking forward to getting some more information about all of this. I wish it weren't an issue at all, but since it is, the more information we have the better.
We are adjusting slowly to having 2 boys! When G goes back to work, I'm not sure how realistic it will be for me to continue pumping. It's already such a pain in the ass to stop what I'm doing every 2-3 hours and hook my boobs up to the torture device.. Oh, I mean breast pump for 20 minutes. I do have a nice supply of breast milk building up in the fridge though. I'm really trying to make it work though because for Malcolm especially, it would be beneficial for him to get some of my immunities from the breast milk until his surgery! We'll see how it goes though. Just one more thing for men to stress about, I suppose.
My eyeballs ache, I'm so tired. But I wouldn't change it for anything. I've wanted this exhausted to the bone feeling for many years and I finally have it! That's not to say it isn't really hard! I mean, I fell asleep feeding Malcolm last night! I woke up and the bottle was hanging out of the corner of his mouth. Lol. I've had nights where I've cried out of pure frustration and stress of not knowing what the hell I'm doing. I don't think I've slept longer than an hour or 2 at a time since I've been pregnant with Malcolm.
But it's all so worth it and I love my boys to pieces. When I look at Malcolm sleeping peacefully or when I hear Masons amazing belly laugh, I forget how exhausted to the bone I am because my babies are all I've ever wanted and they are finally here. And I know in the grand scheme, it's such a short time and while I can say I won't enjoyu every second of motherhood, I CAN say I will appreciate every second...the good and the not so good.
Sunday, October 25, 2015
The Aftermath
I love it. I'm thankful I was able to carry my boys. I'm thankful for the experience, as hard as pregnancy was for me. And the toll it tool on my body was well beyond worth it. I know I will get discouraged trying to get back into shape, but even so, I still love this body for giving me such an amazing gift; my family.
My body will slowly transform down the road ad I work to become strong again, but it will never look the same as it did before my boys and I'm actually thankful for that. They are my "battle scars" and will be a constant reminder of what it went through.
So there it is. No filter or anything. Just my stretched out, mangled postpartum body in all its gloriousness!
Saturday, October 17, 2015
Birth Story
Well..he's here!!! After a very long, difficult pregnancy, our Mr. Malcolm is here. He also didn't want to wait, just like big brother. Only there was a very big sense of urgency this time. When I went into labor (at 37 weeks) with Mase, it was pretty slow going. It was pretty casual going into the OR for the c section. With Malcolm, it was freaking intense!!!! I'll just start at the beginning.
So we had put Mason down for bed and I decided to go lay down as I was feeling a bit crampy/contracty. I didn't feel like then contractions were too crazy. I had nights before when I felt more contractions than I had that night. But I noticed that I was having a few that were aa bit more intense so I casually thought, hey, I'll just track for a bit to see how frequently I'm having them. I rolled to my side, opened my contraction tracker on my phone and tracked one contraction and then felt a little "gush." But I knew right away what it was. Think of when you are having a heavy period and you stand up and feel a gush. But I knew when I stood up, there was going to be more. I just didn't know it would be THAT much more! Holy!!! I stood up and bam!!! It was like niagra falls!!! It felt so gross! There was all this warm liquid that just kept coming!!!!! Any time I thought it was done, I'd move a bit and a bunch more would come out!
Anyway, so I waddled to the bathroom, telling G on the way that my water broke. He jumped to action and called his parents to come grab Mase while I changed into something dry. When G's parents showed up, we took off to the hospital. About halfway there, I knew how fast labor was progressing! My contractions started to get pretty intense. By the time we got checked into the hospital, I couldn't talk through my contractions and was having them about every 2 minutes. They started to get more and more intense and closer together. Soon, they were back to back. I was experiencing transition labor. Malcolm was coming and they FINALLY rolled me into the OR and I cannot tell you now hard it was to sit still while contracting back to back as they were trying to do my spinal. I told the OB that I felt so much pressure and was going to need to push soon!!! But they FINALLY got the spinal in and I felt instant relief! I was soooo sweaty at this point from the intense, quick labor that my skin was drenched and so was my hair? They had ton add a shit ton of medical tape just ton get my iv to stick.
They let G back in and he told me I was an entirely different person than when they rolled me in there. Once the c section started, the OB informed me that I was all the way dilated and that Malcolm may have very well been a vaginal delivery had we waited just a little longer. They pulled Malcolm out and we heard his beautiful cry. I cannot explain how amazing that sound is. There is no experience to even compare it to. It is just one of the most beautiful moments I've ever experienced...with both kids!
After Malcolm's birth, the OB asked if I was sure about getting my tubes tied and after what I had just experienced, shit yeah, I was sure. Double knot those suckers!!!
I did get to see Malcolm in recovery, so that was a nice change from Masons birth experience! They rolled me back into our room after 30 minutes in recovery where I was insanely shaky. It eventually wore off but it was really annoying.
So that's that. It was quite the whirlwind. A little after Malcolm was born, we noticed he was making these gasping/gurgly type sounds. We mentioned it to the nurse and she found a cleft in his soft palate. Basically, it is part of the roof of his mouth that didn't form so it's just a big hole in the back of his throat! This has created lots of struggles with eating.
It bothers me a bit because it seems like people try to downplay this issue a lot. I'm aware that it is not the worst thing ever but I cannot tell you how hard it was to be sent home from the hospital with hardly any information on cleft palate. They push breastfeeding so damn hard that we weren't given information about how cleft palate can make breastfeeding very very difficult. In fact, we were told the opposite...that it could help with cleft palate. Well, guess what. It didn't and our baby lost over a pound and we were at home with no resources other than the internet and that can be a terrifying amount of information to try and sort through. Plus, who knows if it's a credible source or not!
So we suffered through a few nights of trying to figure out how to help our boy eat. He was a screaming mess. He couldn't get a good enough seal on the bottle or breast to actually suck anything out. He was peeing orange, meaning he was dehydrated, and he was losing weight fast.
Luckily, someone from the special needs clinic called us to check on us and thank the sweet lord she did!!! She had us come in to get a specialty bottle that was designed specifically for babies with cleft palate. Since that day, our little guy has been so content and is slowly gaining weignt.
Now why the hell weren't we informed about this bottle before we left the hospital?!? It would have saved a lot of pain and suffering. But nooooo! If they suggest a bottle, that means I won't be breastfeeding. Ugh. Guess what. I don't care about breastfeeding. I just want my baby to be able to eat. Anyway, so now I'm pumping and using the bottle to feed him and life is better for everyone!!
Ok. Well that's all I'm going to do for now. I keep trying to fall asleep so I'm going to let myself doze off for a bit with my baby!
So we had put Mason down for bed and I decided to go lay down as I was feeling a bit crampy/contracty. I didn't feel like then contractions were too crazy. I had nights before when I felt more contractions than I had that night. But I noticed that I was having a few that were aa bit more intense so I casually thought, hey, I'll just track for a bit to see how frequently I'm having them. I rolled to my side, opened my contraction tracker on my phone and tracked one contraction and then felt a little "gush." But I knew right away what it was. Think of when you are having a heavy period and you stand up and feel a gush. But I knew when I stood up, there was going to be more. I just didn't know it would be THAT much more! Holy!!! I stood up and bam!!! It was like niagra falls!!! It felt so gross! There was all this warm liquid that just kept coming!!!!! Any time I thought it was done, I'd move a bit and a bunch more would come out!
Anyway, so I waddled to the bathroom, telling G on the way that my water broke. He jumped to action and called his parents to come grab Mase while I changed into something dry. When G's parents showed up, we took off to the hospital. About halfway there, I knew how fast labor was progressing! My contractions started to get pretty intense. By the time we got checked into the hospital, I couldn't talk through my contractions and was having them about every 2 minutes. They started to get more and more intense and closer together. Soon, they were back to back. I was experiencing transition labor. Malcolm was coming and they FINALLY rolled me into the OR and I cannot tell you now hard it was to sit still while contracting back to back as they were trying to do my spinal. I told the OB that I felt so much pressure and was going to need to push soon!!! But they FINALLY got the spinal in and I felt instant relief! I was soooo sweaty at this point from the intense, quick labor that my skin was drenched and so was my hair? They had ton add a shit ton of medical tape just ton get my iv to stick.
They let G back in and he told me I was an entirely different person than when they rolled me in there. Once the c section started, the OB informed me that I was all the way dilated and that Malcolm may have very well been a vaginal delivery had we waited just a little longer. They pulled Malcolm out and we heard his beautiful cry. I cannot explain how amazing that sound is. There is no experience to even compare it to. It is just one of the most beautiful moments I've ever experienced...with both kids!
After Malcolm's birth, the OB asked if I was sure about getting my tubes tied and after what I had just experienced, shit yeah, I was sure. Double knot those suckers!!!
I did get to see Malcolm in recovery, so that was a nice change from Masons birth experience! They rolled me back into our room after 30 minutes in recovery where I was insanely shaky. It eventually wore off but it was really annoying.
So that's that. It was quite the whirlwind. A little after Malcolm was born, we noticed he was making these gasping/gurgly type sounds. We mentioned it to the nurse and she found a cleft in his soft palate. Basically, it is part of the roof of his mouth that didn't form so it's just a big hole in the back of his throat! This has created lots of struggles with eating.
It bothers me a bit because it seems like people try to downplay this issue a lot. I'm aware that it is not the worst thing ever but I cannot tell you how hard it was to be sent home from the hospital with hardly any information on cleft palate. They push breastfeeding so damn hard that we weren't given information about how cleft palate can make breastfeeding very very difficult. In fact, we were told the opposite...that it could help with cleft palate. Well, guess what. It didn't and our baby lost over a pound and we were at home with no resources other than the internet and that can be a terrifying amount of information to try and sort through. Plus, who knows if it's a credible source or not!
So we suffered through a few nights of trying to figure out how to help our boy eat. He was a screaming mess. He couldn't get a good enough seal on the bottle or breast to actually suck anything out. He was peeing orange, meaning he was dehydrated, and he was losing weight fast.
Luckily, someone from the special needs clinic called us to check on us and thank the sweet lord she did!!! She had us come in to get a specialty bottle that was designed specifically for babies with cleft palate. Since that day, our little guy has been so content and is slowly gaining weignt.
Now why the hell weren't we informed about this bottle before we left the hospital?!? It would have saved a lot of pain and suffering. But nooooo! If they suggest a bottle, that means I won't be breastfeeding. Ugh. Guess what. I don't care about breastfeeding. I just want my baby to be able to eat. Anyway, so now I'm pumping and using the bottle to feed him and life is better for everyone!!
Ok. Well that's all I'm going to do for now. I keep trying to fall asleep so I'm going to let myself doze off for a bit with my baby!
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Broken Record
I feel like I should update this thing but I'm just not sure what to say anymore without just repeating myself. I am 37 weeks and 3 days today, which is where I was when I had Mase. So after 11:45 pm, this will officially be the longest I've been pregnant
I'm just doing the waiting game now. I'm achy. My back is killing me. I'm exhausted. My crotch is sore and don't even get me started on the pressure in my pelvic region! I'm dealing with constipation. And still with the horrid heartburn. I must have had 40 bottles of tums during this pregnancy. My face is swollen along with my legs and...well, everything else. And in the last few days, I've really noticed the carpal tunnel flaring up. Yay. And I feel like I spend all day trying not to fall asleep while I spend all night TRYING to fall asleep.
But...
I've been reflecting, especially since last week. I installed Malcolm's carseat and for whatever reason, that's what made it real for me. I mean, really real. Like this is happening in less than two weeks! I sat there looking at both carseats in our truck and was hit with this wave of absolute and utter gratitude. 2 years ago, I had almost no hope left of having even 1 child. And here I am only 2 years later, about ready to bring home baby boy #2! It's incredible. We are days away from being done building our family! While it is bittersweet, I am so ready to just embrace the next phase.
The last 2 years have been tough. I feel like Masons pregnancy was mentally challenging and Malcolm's was more physically challenging. But even with all the hiccups, scares and challenges of pregnancy, I am still thankful for the experience as I am fully aware, that many are painfully denied this experience. But I can also now appreciate that pregnancy is damn hard! And stressful. And just because you are not a fan of pregnancy, that does not mean you can't appreciate the experience and be absolutely thankful for the end result! If I ever said anything during infertility to invalidate a pregnant woman's feelings, I sincerely apologize. I can admit when I am wrong...and I feel i may have been wrong in certain cases. Was it hard to hear someone complain about something I would do anything for? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean they aren't allowed to have a hard time too. Pregnancy is hard. I think the key is to just know who you are complaining to. Talk to someone who can relate.
Anyway. See. I'm repeating myself! I know I've talked about a lot of this stuff already. I just feel like I might not be writing in here too much more until after Malcolm and wanted to have at least one more entry! However, now, it's sleepy time...hopefully!!!!
I'm just doing the waiting game now. I'm achy. My back is killing me. I'm exhausted. My crotch is sore and don't even get me started on the pressure in my pelvic region! I'm dealing with constipation. And still with the horrid heartburn. I must have had 40 bottles of tums during this pregnancy. My face is swollen along with my legs and...well, everything else. And in the last few days, I've really noticed the carpal tunnel flaring up. Yay. And I feel like I spend all day trying not to fall asleep while I spend all night TRYING to fall asleep.
But...
I've been reflecting, especially since last week. I installed Malcolm's carseat and for whatever reason, that's what made it real for me. I mean, really real. Like this is happening in less than two weeks! I sat there looking at both carseats in our truck and was hit with this wave of absolute and utter gratitude. 2 years ago, I had almost no hope left of having even 1 child. And here I am only 2 years later, about ready to bring home baby boy #2! It's incredible. We are days away from being done building our family! While it is bittersweet, I am so ready to just embrace the next phase.
The last 2 years have been tough. I feel like Masons pregnancy was mentally challenging and Malcolm's was more physically challenging. But even with all the hiccups, scares and challenges of pregnancy, I am still thankful for the experience as I am fully aware, that many are painfully denied this experience. But I can also now appreciate that pregnancy is damn hard! And stressful. And just because you are not a fan of pregnancy, that does not mean you can't appreciate the experience and be absolutely thankful for the end result! If I ever said anything during infertility to invalidate a pregnant woman's feelings, I sincerely apologize. I can admit when I am wrong...and I feel i may have been wrong in certain cases. Was it hard to hear someone complain about something I would do anything for? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean they aren't allowed to have a hard time too. Pregnancy is hard. I think the key is to just know who you are complaining to. Talk to someone who can relate.
Anyway. See. I'm repeating myself! I know I've talked about a lot of this stuff already. I just feel like I might not be writing in here too much more until after Malcolm and wanted to have at least one more entry! However, now, it's sleepy time...hopefully!!!!
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