Moving, Marathons and Big News?!

I had a great date with Garrett on Tuesday. I think we really needed one. Grandma and grandpa Zanto watched the boy and we went to Montana Club and also to Hastings to get Game of Thrones!!!  We chatted a lot at dinner about the possibility of moving to a small town before Mason goes to school.  It was nice because Garrett went to a small school and I went to a bigger one (Helena High) so we each had valuable points to make about the pros and con's.  I think we are leaning towards moving out to Highwood, which is where Garrett grew up.  There is plenty of time to decide.  So there's no rush... Unless Garretts childhood home goes on the market.  Then, if it is in our price range, we will jump on that!  I love that house!!!  And so does G. Plus, that's where we were married.

In other news, physical therapy is going well.  I've also been following the Chalean Extreme program.  It will go hand in hand with the physical therapy since it is primarily strength/weightlifting workouts.  Once I get through physical therapy, I'll shift my focus to running. Although, I'll keep lifting too.

Mason is finally feeling better!  I'm so glad because he was not a happy boy for a while!  He's gonna be 7 months here before we even know it!!!

I wasn't initially going to post this here...as I don't really want to be loud about this...but November 29th will be my first half marathon in Seattle.  And no, that's not what I don't want to be loud about! I already blabbed that all over FB. But the day after, November 30, we are shooting for a frozen embryo transfer while in Seattle.  I've already been in contact about it with our coordinator at Seattle Reproductive Medicine.  Mason will be almost 1.5 years old so I think it will be perfect if it works!

I'm already terrified.  But hopeful at the same time.

So anyway. That's my big news!  It's early to be thinking about this but as I've said I'm previous posts, you kind of have to when you are infertile! We are trying a bit earlier than we would like because in th case of a failed cycle, we have to save up all over again.  As of right now, we have $800 out of the $5000 we need. So that's a pretty good start.  But, again, we won't be able to just jump in to try another cycle if it fails! We'll have to start over saving again...which will probably take another year. So this is why we are choosing to jump into treatments a bit sooner.

If you are loyal to my blog, you have the privilege to this information and will be able to follow along...as I will not be
sharing it on FB.  =)

OK. That's all I've got for now!

Adjusting

I've been feeling rather disconnected recently.  Like I have no place amongst groups anymore.  And what I mean by that is before, I had an infertility group, an exercise partner/family, etc.  Now I feel like I don't belong anywhere.  It's probably a pretty normal feeling considering the circumstances but it's kind of unsettling to me. I don't really know of any mom groups where there isn't "mom wars" going on.  I sure as hell don't belong in a la leche league or any of the sorts.  My boobies aren't invited to those exclusive clubs.  My schedule does not really work for a lot of workout classes or my normal workout partner. So I work out alone. Plus, I won't be ready for the Spartan races in time so I won't be getting my trifecta with the rest of the god damn state.  

I suppose it's a good thing Mason is my world because without him and my hubs, it would be pretty lonely. 

I'm just going to keep working on my goals.  And I have a lot of them!  With over without support and/or help, I'll get there.  I'm planning on at least doing the Seattle half marathon.  I loathe running but I want to do something big before we start heading down the road of fertility treatments again.  

Plus, being a mom is very fulfilling! It may be time to move on from my life prior to Masers!  I had a lot of fun but things are just different, and that's not necessarily a bad thing! Kind of a bitter sweet, I suppose, as a lot of it were things to keep me afloat while I was treading the infertility waters. 

Now I have my little dude to occupy my time and keep me busy, my workouts that are my "me time" and my job on weekends.  Moving on isn't a bad thing, I guess!!!

Yay!!! Progress!!!

OK so just a little progress action. The top pic is a few weeks PP so I'm not sure if you want to include that or not but I'm throwing it in there for good measure.  Bottom pic was from like last week.

My weight has FINALLY moved!!! In the top 3 pics, I was at 189. In all of them. The bottom one is about 182.  So I'm slowly moving in the right direction, which is good because I won't let myself do an FET unless I'm in the 160's...preferably the 150's, which is what I was at pre pregnancy. I'm in the middle of PT now so no high intensity stuff for a bit so I'm focusing on strength training for now. But after, I plan on training for a half marathon in Seattle. November 29th so still plenty of time. But hopefully, that will give me a goal to shoot for.

Crib, Annual and Goals.

This is night #2 of transitioning Mason into his crib. He's slept in a rock and play up until this point. But he is trying to shoot himself pit of it now...I think mostly because he wants to sleep on his side or his tummy.  I'm not comfortable physically or mentally with the idea of cosleeping.  If its just him and I taking a nap then it's fine but our bed is not that big to accommodate all of us comfortably. Babies take up a lot of room. Perhaps down the road when I don't feel like I or G will smoosh him, he can come into bed with us. But for now, I think the best thing is his crib! 

Last night was a flop.  He slept in there for a few hours then woke up and would not settle back down. So into bed with me he went. But when G came to bed at 2am, Mason woke up and was wide awake! So him and I slept the rest of the night in the recliner.  We'll see how tonight goes. G has the baby monitor and I told him to just put M in bed with me for a while if he wakes up and doesn't settle back down. (G is a night owl, in case you haven't guessed that.  I, however, am in bed pretty early.)

Anyway, so I'm totally sobbing in bed because it's sinking in that my baby is already 6 months old!!!  And I am having separation anxiety. Lol. But don't get me wrong! I love that little man is learning stuff every day and stuff is getting so fun!!! And I have no illusions about how rocky those first few months were.  Not because of lack of sleep or anything like that. But because of the reflux. So I'm glad be are moving away from that a bit. I guess it's just the realization of just how fast time goes with a kid. People can tell you until you are blue in the face how fast it goes but it doesn't sink in until it's actually happing to you. 

But I love it.  I still love every second of being a mom. Even the tough moments.  I love my boy so much!  My heart feels like it may explode.

That being said, I'll move on. 

I had my annual today and chatted with Dr. M. about the rough timeline we have of trying to have another.  She mentioned how the next pregnancy will be as far as precautions and whatnot.  I soooo hope it's a better experience. I'm not even asking for much. Just a less tumultuous one. I don't even need to work out! If I could just walk. Or not be confined to a bed. 

If we are able to keep everything in check and stable, we are good candidates for a vbac. We could potentionally labor normally and give birth vaginally.  I hadn't really considered it but I suppose it makes sense! The reason for my cesarean last time was for my safety, not Mason's. My cervix was just too trashed, they didn't want to risk it! I'm not going to make any plans though.  I would love to deliver vaginally, but I think it's just going to a be a wait and see type of thing.  If it works that way, awesome! If not, cesarean it is. My goal is a healthy baby (and mama) so we'll just see how it plays out. I'm not going to obsess about it.  

I shouldn't even get ahead of myself.  We may not get to have another one. And if not, Mason is enough. He is my little miracle boy!!!  I would like to give him a sibling, though.  Another wait and see situation.  I still have goals to reach before I'll even consider a frozen embryo cycle.  I have at least 18 more pounds to lose.  And I want to get my strength back.  Then I'll consider it.  I start physical therapy again on Friday.  I'm a little nervous about my knee. I think everything else is a strength and/or muscle imbalance issue.  But my knee is locking up like it has shit floating around in there. I'm worried I won't be able to get my Spartan trifecta!  I guess I'll find out more on Friday.

I suppose that's it for now.  Just been being a mom, plugging away at my goals and tattooing on the weekends!  Don't have much to complain about these days.  My life is pretty effing amazing!!!!

All or Nothing

Let's talk about the all or nothing approach to eating healthy. It gets a bad rap.  But the truth is, that's the only way that works for me.  I don't think it's fair to discredit that approach.  I read a snarky post about being that crazy person that eats healthy all the time, brings their own snacks or even meals to a get together.  I don't think there is any reason to bash that person or even to concern yourself with what they are eating.  Does it affect you in any way? No. So leave them alone. They apparently have goals. And maybe they have a designated cheat day coming up and only want to use their "cheats" on food they find worthy of the cheat.  That's what I do.

I tried doing the cheat here and there approach where I wasn't quite so "strict" with myself. It did NOT work.  It just doesn't work for my goals.  I ended up "cheating" too much.  When I allow myself to regularly eat bad stuff, I find myself craving it more.  So for me, its the all or nothing approach.  Then a cheat day once in a while.  I can appreciate the fact that this way doesn't suit everybody.  But there's no need to belittle someone who turns down junk food at a get-together.

In other news, I haven't weighed myself in almost a month. So I have no idea where I'm at with that.  What I CAN tell you is that I feel better since buckling down and not allowing cheats.  I am weighing on the first Friday of every month. So we'll see if things are moving in the right direction. 

I went for my first run in a while today. Had to be super careful about my form due to all my ailments.  I can't wait for physical therapy. Though I'm a little worried about my knee. I guess we'll see!

Tough workouts and TMI.

Got my ass handed to me today by my workout! Lol. Ugh. People who think that this business is easy by any means are truly clueless!!! But really, it should never be easy at any fitness level unless you don't want to advance. There are more days that I don't want to work our than do right now. But I do it anyway. I'll post some progress pics soon.

G has been adjusting his work schedule so I can have that hour and a half in the morning to get my "me time" in and focus 100% on my workout!  It sets me up to have a better day and be a better mom to my boy. He is a giant ball of energy so I will need to be in shape to keep up with my little man!!!  Plus I'm just a happier person when I feel good and am happy with myself and body. I've got a good start!!!  I just need to keep going!

I've made an appointment for my annual. And this may be TMI so feel free to stop reading now....

...last chance....

Ok. You've been warned. So "things" have been very painful with Garrett...if you know what I mean. So I'm super nervous for my annual. I don't think it's normal, per say, but it may be normal for my case. I'm not sure. So I'll be talking to my OB about that. I decided to check my cervical position yesterday (you can sometimes tell if you are ovulating by your cervical position) and was taken aback by what I felt. Massive scar tissue. I mean, I knew I would have some since my cervix tore in 2 places...but I wasn't expecting that much. It feels like there is scar tissue hanging off my cervix. Just bazaar. So I'm wondering if that could be causing the pain. Ugh.  I don't know.  Anyway. My appointment is February 9th. So we'll see.

My Favorite Corner

Anyone like to take a guess at which corner is my favorite in my living room??

If you guessed this corner (which you probably did), you win a million dollars. Ok...not really. But you're still a winner. *wink.

That corner right across from Mason's corner, that recliner is where I spent my 3 months of bed rest. So I can now sit in that same recliner and enjoy watching the fruits of my labor play and grow and learn.

I had people tell me that I would be bummed that my house was gonna be messy now. They must not know me at all.

First of all...it's not that big of a deal when our house gets turned upside down. I've wanted that for years. And also, I'm notorious for keeping my living room and kitchen pretty clean. It's an OCD thing. So I usually clean it every other morning. Yes, things are just gonna get messy again but I clean anyway.  Every time I clean up Mason's stuff, it's just another reality check for me that this is real. Mason is real. The fact that I finally have my baby is real. How could I be upset about that?